The Real Reason We Buy Theme Chess Sets

I mean – what’s the point exactly? Why would someone buy something that collects dust, takes up interior real estate and – guess what – ya can barely play chess with it? Unless you don’t mind checking each time you move that the pawn is the pawn and bishop is the bishop and the other pieces are theother pieces. Ooops – I didn’t actually mean to move my queen into a position to be taken by your pawn – I just couldn’t distinguish it from the bishop? Errr… could I possibly re-take my move?

A chess set always provided artisans with the perfect medium to express themselves in such a way that their craft would result in something marketable. They could have concentrated on vases or other benign ornaments to satisfy the female need for feathering the nest and for the male need for the female to feather the nest so that they could settle down with a cold beer in a place that didn’t resemble prison cell with a single picture placed on the wall as disguise. But no. They had to go for chess, in order to offend the gazillion chess enthusiasts is the world who need to distinguish the pieces from each other in a micro second glance in order to complete our – errr, I mean their… crushing move. They had to invade the space of staunton afficianados with their ‘battle of waterloo’ or ‘Isle of Lewis’ and other designs. If you ask me.., err, I mean most chess players, those Ilse of Lewis pieces should have stayed just where they were – in some Scottish Highland cave, away from staunton, away from chess and away from disturbing our staunton peace. Pah!ah!

Protection of a ‘gift’
The truth of the matter is, that from a chess retail point of view – theme chess sets have a sort of an inbuilt buffer from being continually rejected as the johnny-come-lately of chess. Think about what actually happens – most purchases of theme sets are for gifts – they’re perfect gifts for someone that wish they could play the game but can’t. Perfect. Buying a theme battle of Culloden chess set for someone is like crediting them with the belief that they are a master of the game and don’t even have to know which one is the rook and which the pawn – they’ll still cane the opposition with a hand tied behind their back. What a gesture! What a politician! As for blemishes, ahhh, it’s a gift for Uncle Harold – he’ll check it out. As for Uncle Harold – ahhh, it was a gift, didn’t cost me anything, that little blemish isn’t anything to worry about. And what a wonderful gift (Harold: ‘I don’t even know how the play the game’, but he obiously thinks I’m a master – what a wonderful chap – awwww… family is wonderful!’)

Cranial one-upmanship
Whether a gift or otherwise, these monstrosities of chess impurity, nay! chess invasion are the consumate one-upmanship. In one master stroke – a theme chess set owner has an item which does two things masterfully. Visitors see immediately – rather like the Mercedes in the driveway – that this man is a man to be given recognition! Look – he appreciates history! He has a Richard the Lionheart chess set! And,… and.. yes, it’s a chess set – the man plays chess! Do not meddle with this fellow – he is a man to be accorded honour! This masterful stroke is at once a stroke that is inexpensive, appreciated, honour-giving, king-making and a public declaration that the recipient is nothing short of deserving of high office!

Theme chess sets – they might seem a complete travesty of chess purity and chastity – but look further – they are a politicians gesture, a wise mans act and a chess players Checkmate!

By Baron Turner of ChessBaron – Chess Sets, Chess Boards, Chess Pieces from Canada and Chess Sets from the USA – ChessBaron has over 300 sets , many are theme chess sets including the Isle of Lewis Chess Set, Battle of Waterloo, Battle of Hastings and many more from ChessBaron UK, USA, France or Canada. Or buy Staunton chess from us for real chess 🙂